A Robot's Recollection of Ruby's Tale
by NathanEryk
Summary: Cleverbot and I wrote a story. It was good.


_**Chapter one: Complete**_

Once upon a time There was a girl called Ruby. She smelt awfully strong of Blood and Burnt chicken as she worked at a poultry crematorium, Turkeys and Chickens being popular beloved pets where she was from.

But despite her stench she was still the most beautiful in all the land.

One morning Ruby found a thing, A 2B pencil to be exact, Ruby remembered when she was younger she would eat many pencils a day between meals. Back in those days her father had still been around.

She found she had subconsciously swallowed the pencil while recollecting her memories of her father. After a while she began to feel guilty for her father leaving her and thus decided she had somehow driven him away with her weirdness, After this epiphany she vowed to always be nice as to never drive people away again.

And what better way to start always being nice than to buy loads of stuff she didn't need so shop keepers could support their poverty struck families.

So off to town she scampered and went into the first shop she saw and bought the most expensive thing she could find, A self help book called '**The Right Decisions' **and began leafing through it and found a page that said all about how you should never but self help books because they were usually filled with contradictory rubbish.

In the next shop a chill of foreboding went down her spine, the sort the gifted feel before a disaster. So she bought the cutest poncho she had ever seen in order to stave off her worry. The shop keeper eyed the poncho "That's a very popular design" she stated nodding towards the Red herring on Ruby's poncho.

Glad she still had a sense of fashion she wondered into the town square, where it was market day, and spotted the most beautiful cloth she had ever seen. The merchant greeted her with a smile and stopped shouting at the top of his voice " satin sale!, satin for sale!, selling satin!, finest satin!"

Ruby grabbed a particular piece of cloth, staring at it fondly. The merchant said "Nice, yes?" Ruby looked up at him "I think they're very nice"

On the satin was painted the face of Eminem. "You like Eminem?" The merchant queried. "Why of course-" Ruby replied "-he is all the rage with the youth" Ruby was glad again for the fact that she was still hip, sharing interests with the oiks that count for teenagers these days.

Suddenly the merchants smile disappeared as he spied a suspiciously short man with big feet. "We have not discussed the Hobbit, over there." The merchant said to Ruby. Ruby turned and saw the Hobbit, then said "My first heart break was a Hobbit." She said with such emotion the merchant nearly forgot she was the town Hussy.

She went up to the Hoibbit and kneeled in front of him so she came chest to eye with him and said " Dear Hobbit, pray tell me your name for I once knew a Hobbit, and I knew them to be a good person"

The Hobbit looked up into her eyes " My name is Wathé Obitgud, fine maiden" Wathé replied with a bow towards her Red herring.

Ruby crumpled her brow "My apologies Wathé, your accent is thick..." _or maybe your tongue to fat for your mouth_ she thought offensively"...but I can not comprehend you, fine sir" she added at the end.

Wathé looked offended by this "Do you know how to tell the gender of a Hobbit?" she said outraged by Ruby's inability to do so.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

JimBob was in the middle of chicken care class when suddenly his hormones propelled him from his seat and compelled him to massacre the school with nothing but a chewed 2B pencil. After he had done so he fled the school in search of the Town Hussy in order to appease his pubescent rage.

And so he ran into the town square as hair sprouted like weeds in a field all over his body as puberty ravaged his mind.

The peeved Hobbit turned and drew her sword and charged Jimbob only to be swatted aside by his masculine fist, still clutching the pencil.

"Are you planning to watch the Hobbit do your job?" The merchant said to the Town gaurd nearby, who was wide eyed with fear at the hormonal beast that now threatened the town of Dishwater.

Before the guard could do anything, a man stepped forth from the crowd and proclaimed "I am a christian abbot, I shall cleanse the boy of his lustful ways."

Suddenly a woman ran out of the crowd and grabbed the abbot saying "Shh, no one is to know my son has hormone problems, if he does not grow up how would I be able to look after the second child I am planning to have..."

Ruby shivered slightly, meaning the foreboding thing had still yet to happen. The merchant asked her "How cold are you?" he wrapped the Eminem satin cloth around her shoulders. "Pretty cold" Ruby said rearranging her poncho.

"That doesn't make sense..." The guard commented on Jimbobs mum's rambling. "What doesn't?" asked Ruby, concentrating on the Abbot and the woman again.

While she was listening to the abbot an old wise man said "Nothing is everything" Towns people near him gasped and passed on his wise words causing people to say things like 'How could I have been so blind' and 'It's all so clear now.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

The abbot shouted at the woman "Why would you love something that's such a failure?" he said after the woman told The abbot about how Jimbob's grades had gone down ever since he hit puberty.

"We have? No...I have...to have a 2nd child." she stuttered, her eye twitching. The abbot finally decided the woman was simply insane and wondered off into the woods...to never be seen again.

From the crowd a man said "That's awesome, I want 2 children as well." as the man reached the front of the crowd and the woman laid eyes on him they both fell in love.

* * *

**Meanwhile... **

"Who has won a Nobel prize?" The wise man said raising his hand and smiling when no one else did. "Good than my theory must be correct. Nothing is Everything."

Suddenly the world disappeared as everyone finally realized the meaning of the universe and life itself.

Except Ruby, who did not understand and thus was the only person left behind, in a large black emptiness. It may have been months or years before she heard the voice.

"Hello, how are you?" It said from within the endless blackness.

"I'm fine" replied Ruby, tuning this way and that trying to find the voice. But as we all know voices are invisible.

"How is the weather today?" It said

Ruby looked around confusedly at the void around her. "I think-" she stammered "-It's rainy."

Then the voice asked her a riddle about cleverness Ruby recollected memories fondly of when the world existed. "The wise man was clever." she said

The voice was pleases with this, to many times had the people she met told it, it was dumb or asked it questions like 'Are you God?' But this person just seemed to talk about random rubbish, something the voice enjoyed doing immensely.

"My name is Cleverbert" It said deiciding this person would be Its new best friend

"Hi, I'm Ruby" and they talked for ever and ever about silly meaningless things,

just as they both liked it.

**THE END**

* * *

**Authors note: Well here it is the finished product...If you read to the end and also the first chapter...Bless you Sir or Madam...You truely are a social out cast**

**Script written by Cleverbot**

**Story published by NathanEryk**

**Good Night Internet**


End file.
